BooBoo Stabbed me in the Back, Hick-Upped and Went Back to Sleep

Above: "Xena and Biggles" Hand-carved/Hand-Painted by Cara & Pam 2011

Day 3...."BooBoo still wouldn't say no to an Alka-Seltzer and two aspirin".

Today, while vacuuming up Christmas, She lifted up the sofa and found my "missing" advent calendar. It has been "missing" since December 15.
"Why are all of the little doors open? All of the wee chocolates are gone! Did you open them all on December 15th?" She asked.
"NO..........I lost it! One of the cats must have eaten them. As if I would....it is an advent calendar!!" I hollered.
BooBoo opened her eyes from Day 3 of her turkey-coma and pointed at me, accusingly.
"I can't believe you would accuse me of that!" I said to Her. Very hurt. I am.
"Well," She said, "seeing as how you did the same thing last year and the year before that, I didn't  have to call in forensics,  did I?"

If You Eat Your Hat, You Have No One to blame for Cold Ears but Yourself

The Goat House is looking goat-errific and SHE has had me start my packing. I don't think I have ever seen Her SO enthused before. She's chosen to halt work on the exterior and focus on the inside. Closer move-in date. Apparently, it will be SO fabulous painting up there, I will only need to come home in time to make Her dinner!

Rose's first walk in the snow. She actually yelled at us. She can't be mad at me about the cold because she ate her hat. I had to make things better by letting her and Blanche plan a house warming party for The Goat House. Wine will be involved.

Happy Holidays to You!

Rose Nylund's First Christmas. She is SO excited about what Santa might bring........

A Mummer's Parade!! Hand-Carved/Hand-Painted by Cara and Pam for Mummer's The Word!

Wishing everyone a happy holiday from all of us here at The Grumpy Goat Gallery!
Love: Rose, Stan, Blanche, LUCCA, Big Fat BooBoo, Gretel Myfanway DerFrankenfurter the 3rd, Brother Bear, Nana, Lily, Itchy, Scratchy, Boris, Liza Manelli, Snowy, Pop-Eye, Powder Grey, Honey, Pumpkin Pants, Vincenzo the 2nd, Fat Aunt Sylvia, Annabel, Queenie from up the road, Papa Luigi (in spirit) and Cara and Pam!
CHEERS!

Sometimes, Vacuuming Sucks.

Image: "Sleep, My Love"  Hand-Carved/Mixed Media by Cara and Pam

Yesterday:
HER: "I'll be back in a few hours. Don't touch the new vacuum. I will put it together when I get home."
ME : "OK! See you later!"
I watch her leave and go into the living room to check on Blanche. I look at the Christmas tree. It is so dry that my mere glance causes it terrific stress. I hear a sound similar to that of one of those rain sticky-rain stick instruments. Half the tree is on the floor. Needles. Everywhere. I insisted on getting the tree early this year and it was my job to keep it watered. Hmm. I am surprised it hasn't actually walked into the kitchen  to get itself a drink.
Me: "Blanche, I am going to have to vacuum this up."
I go to the window and make sure that SHE is gone. (I do this a lot). I look at the shiny, lovely vacuum box and decide that I am a capable, clever girl who can Shirley put together a Shop Vac. I tear open the box and get to work.
SO many parts and pieces.....who knew there would be SCREWS? and nuts and little discs that might be called washers. So much foam wrapping and tubes and what-nots. There are what-nots up the ying-yang.The instruction book is very ugly and the writing is quite hostile. I struggle and strain and build what I think is a fabulous-looking, vacuum-machine. It looks quite close to the photo on the box. Of course it does! I used elbow grease! (and where can I get more?)
With a terrific deep breath, I plug in the mighty sucker and after a brief panic attack, it starts sucking! It works! I am so excited, I suck up all of the extra foam, half the food in the cats bowl, a few rogue Cheerios and half of the Christmas tree. I give the tree itself a good shake to catch any loose needles (ha! the other half is on the floor and now it is just a Christmas stick!) The air coming out of the vacuum vent is forest-piney fresh!
A few hours later SHE arrives home and sees what Shirley and I have done. She asks if I read the instruction book. I said I did, which was, in fact, not a lie. I HAD read the book. I just didn't agree with the offensive parts. She is quite surprised and somewhat impressed when She turns on my vacuum. It works. I march around the kitchen very haughtily and suggest very loudly that I am capable of putting things together. In fact, I could even put in the new hot water heater.
Lovely Vacuum: "KLANG! KLANG! KLANG!
She turns off the mighty beast and asks what She might have sucked up.
ME: "Ah, I don't know."
She unhooks the main hose and opens up the belly. She digs around through the bits and pieces and asks for a garbage bag. She empties out the Christmas tree, the Cheerios and the cat food. She sifts through fur balls and a dozen twist ties that got away. And then I see them. She sees them too. Three black screws. My lovely vacuum has forsaken me.
HER: "SOOO, you put the vacuum together even though I said not to, couldn't figure out where these screws went and hid them under the counter? And now the vacuum has actually choked on its own parts?"
ME: "That is exactly what appears to have happened.  Would you like to come and look at the Christmas tree?"

No Matter How Hard She Tried, Nan Couldn't Get the Jam-Jam Stains Out of Aunt Berna's Old Quilt

"No Matter How Hard She Tried, Nan Couldn't Get the Jam-Jam Stains Out of Aunt Berna's Old Quilt"

Hand-Carved, Hand-Painted by Cara & Pam

Rosie wearing her new winter hat, "Gordon".

On Sunday I Learned Three Things...............

1. If a cat loves a goat, the goats choice of winter head attire makes no difference at all.

2. Going to a lovely church dinner when over-tired and hysterical with the giggles may not be the best way to present yourself  to the world. Note: It is only acceptable if you are drinking "tea".

3. If you are at the Tim Horton's drive-through, starving hungry but not a fan a whole wheat bread,  the last thing you should say to the lovely lady on the other side of the microphone is
"DO YOU HAVE LARGE, WHITE BUNS?"

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me.... A Snail Crawling up a Pear Tree

She just came in and said "I thought you were making Christmas cookies this afternoon? Why are you making SNAILS? What is Christmassy about snails? Surely, you could have found a better shape in your cookie cutter tin?"
Hhmph. I like my Christmas snails.
All I answered in reply was,
"PLEASE don't call me Shirley".
Wait until She sees my yuletide hedgehogs!

SHE'S a Player!

"The Dance" Acrylic on Canvas by Cara Kansala - Original Sold

Moving In...........

At Home for Now......perhaps the biggest project since time began! We hope to have it painted and in working order sometime in the next 3 years!!
THIS IS A TRUE STORY
SHE likes to collect things. I do not. SHE loves going to antique stores and yard sales and thrift shops. SHE loves antiques and anything dusty, with tiny little words that smell of mothballs and other peoples secrets. 
SHE is obsessed with the days of yore.
Quite a few years ago, we were at an antique store and she found some VERY dusty boxes. Long and slim. She didn't know what was in them but the accumulated dust and grime deposit was so great, She figured that inside there must certainly be something magical. With great enthusiasm, She opened each one....."Player piano scrolls!!" She yelled, "I have to have them!" 
I watched all of this in daze. 
"No! No!" I said, "We don't need player piano scrolls. They are, in fact, the LAST thing we need. No! Let's just put them back for the next person!"
"NO!" She said. "I have to get them. I was meant to have them. I need them!" And She walked off to the cash.
"AHHH! Please, no more. I KNOW that they will sit in the bedroom in a box until I am 85 and you will never look at them again. I will have to give them to the Goodwill in 45 years, so why not  jump the gun and leave them here now?  You can't get them! We will NEVER have a player piano!! NEVER! NNNNEVVERRR!!" 
I was putting my foot down.
She was paying (they weren't inexpensive to say the least). 
Apparently, my foot was not even close to where it needed to be.
Mrs. Antique-Shop-Owner-Who-Looked-Far-Too-Pleased-With-Herself put them in a bag and sent Us on Our Way.
That was years ago. And where have those piano player scrolls been ever since? In a box. In the bedroom, waiting for my pension to kick in. Has She looked at them, or needed them, or used them? Nope.
UNTIL TODAY
Last month while judging a scarecrow making contest, lovely lady friend asked us if we  had ever wanted a player piano. SHE lit up up like disco ball at an ABBA tribute and I tried to scrape myself up off the floor. 
"A WHAT?" I asked.
"A PLAYER PIANO." said lovely lady. "We have one that might need a home..."
Everything has been a blur since that day. So many "I told you so's".
How many times have I heard "Shall we take out the piano scrolls and have a look at them, again?"
I have had humble pie, 60 days in a row and crow for the past week.
SHE is in Her glory. 
Player piano is happily sitting in our living room. YES! Yes, my friend, the one we were never, ever going to have.
My biggest fear is this.......
Two weeks ago, She came home with what She called "The last thing I will ever buy at an antique shop, I promise!" It is a manual, antique meat grinder with all of the parts in working order. Working. Order.
If a truck pulls up outside our house with a side of beef, I AM MOVING OUT!

P.S. Thank you 5 billion times over to Linda Lewis and her wonderful family who gave us THE PIANO,  delivered it to our house and moved it in. You are all shining stars and we can't thank you enough!

Why ARE There so many Songs about Rainbows?

In town today, doing TOWNY things. Yesterday was a Town Day, too. Yesterday I saw the Muppet Movie with some of the Darlings. SHE did not want to go again today, even though we are in Town. She also said that even though we are painting the bedroom, I cannot put up Muppet wallpaper. Not even a sneaky border. SHE said that if I stop singing the Muppet theme song for the rest of the day, I CAN take my Rolph dog puppet Muppet out of my storage box. Life is all about give and take. "It's time to put on make-up....., it's time to light the lights...." She didn't mention writing it in the deal!