Custom orders, online shop shipments and Christmas events that need attending. No time for twice baked potatoes here!
Last week..... I am running late. SHE is ready to go, with coat and shoes on. She is jingle-jangling the car keys in her hand which in Her universe, must make people move faster.
I have put on my tights, my spanx, my good brassiere, my control top-ready for battle underthingy, my full slip and my newly pressed good dress. I have washed the Hair, blown it dry, straightened it with the dangerous straightening stick and have the make-up on. I am exhausted but ready to roll. One last glance in the mirror and I notice that Hair is sticking up. Floating above my head. I look like I did went I was 10 and went to the science museum and put my hand on the electric magic ball. Hair has betrayed me and has gone static for the second time in its life.
ME: PAM! Ask the Google for an anecdote to static cling of the hair!
Her: Pardon?
ME: I need an anecdote to get rid of the static hair! Hurry!!!
Her: That's what I thought you said......
The keys stop jangling and I hear Her walking away, hopefully to consult the Google.
I take out my tiny bottle of magic Arganon Hair Straightening oil and smooth it over Hair. Nothing.
Her: Did you hear about the lady who went to bed but her hair stayed up?
ME: What? WHAT?
Her: Did you hear about the man who had a hair-raising mishap when he stuck his finger in a socket?
ME: Are you joking?
Her: Yes. You asked me to.
ME: WHAT?
Her: You asked for an anecdote. Would you instead, like an antidote?
ME: ^{##<%|>>!!!!!
Her: How did your hair get that way? Did you rub a balloon on your head?
ME: YES! ALL MORNING IN BETWEEN PAINTING, MAKING TORTIERE, FILLING ORDERS AND WRAPPING GIFTS, EVERY CHANCE I GOT, I RUBBED A BALLOON ON MY HEAD!!!
Her: Well, I don't think you should do that anymore unless you plan on staying home.
Jingle-jangle-jingle.......
Yes. We are still together but just barely. Barely just.......
No comments:
Post a Comment