I wouldn't say no to a diet root beer and a game of cribbage.........Me: I love making these big, custom cribbage boards.We should make one for us to use. Better yet, we should make a life-size cribbage board...like a really big one!
HER: A life-size cribbage board? Hmm.... I would need to get a lot of topsoil brought in and we'd have to rent or buy a Kubota.
Me:....not really listening because when She starts talking about soil, tools, cars, Tin Tin or anything with a motor the little translator in my eardrum turns Her words into the theme song from The Flintstones.
Me: OK, whatever you need. Maybe we'll have time at the end of June.
HER: Nope, if we're going to do it I'll have to start soon and work at it a bit every day for the next few months. (She is exceptionally excited and I realize I have missed the bus).
We can build it up in the backyard on the hill so I'll have to graph it all out and wouldn't it be cool if we made really big cards, too. So, we'll be the pegs and the course will run from one end of the yard to the other.
Me: WHAT? WE are the pegs? Are you drunk? What are you talking about? Isn't a Ciabatta a kind of bread?
HER: No, a Kubota. It's a small tractor.
HER: You used the term "life-sized" in a weird way again, didn't you?
(I often get confused about what Life-Sized means. Last week I drew 30 "life-sized" gulls for her to carve but she said they were just regular sized. The size a gull would be. Then I drew a 7 foot tall "life-sized" paint brush for her to cut out for on the gallery sign. She said it was only Life-Sized if it was for a giant artist. Hmm.
HER: So, I am not getting a tractor or a load of topsoil or getting to make a really cool game in the back yard?
Me: Well, no. Does topsoil come from Topsail?
HER: I have a Life-Size headache.
Image: "Justin's Bait Shop" Cribbage Board by Cara and Pam