Stairing Problem?

I never use the directational terms North, South, East or West. I never have. If I am forced to do so, I must recite the "Never Eat Shredded Wheat" poem and do the hand actions that go with it. That's just how I roll. She knows this about me and we travel very well together. I am the bomb at mapping and giving directions.
Her: Can you look at the map and tell me which direction we head for Montreal?
Me: You got it Pontiac... (I check the map...) Up Left.
Her: Thanks.
Me: You are very welcome.
Easy peasy.
Things get a little more complicated when it comes to my left and right hands and feet. I have to check every time. I hold the world record for losing at "Simon Says".
Curious then, that She built ultra-funky stairs in the new studio that require more thought and co-ordination than an octopus trying to do the Hokey-Pokey.
She calls Her crazy stairs European "space savers". They ARE gorgeous and very well made. She did an amazing job. But you have to start up on the bottom stair with your left foot. Always the left. To make it easier, She marked all of my work shoes "L" and "R" . ......East and West...... so already I have to start paying attention to which foot goes into which shoe.
I don't believe in fortune tellers but I am going to go out on a limb while I still have two unbroken ones and guess that it is just a matter of time before I get it wrong and end up with two broken ankles. I wonder if She will label my casts too.