Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Recipe For Crazy Pie? 2 cups of Weirdness, 3 Spoonfuls of Tickety-Boo and Six Dozen Fiddle Faddles. Cook for An Eternity and Serve Cold with Custurd.

Image: "On Saturday Beatrice Washed Her Sunday Dress"
 by Cara and Pam * Hand-Carved Original
Weird things happen here. She says that weirdness follows me around and it's not this place at all but I deg to biffer. I used to be normal. I used to have bog standard brown hair and drove a beige car. I drank diet Pepsi ( not root beer) and had a closet full of satisfying black shoes that were just the right bit of uncomfortable. Now I live in a Crabby Cat Cottage and have a banana car. My hair is the colour of cotton candy and I mostly only wear uncomfortable red shoes. I could, at any minute, step onto the center stage at a Cirque Du Soleil event, announce that I was the ring leader and no one would bat an eye. Nope, not one eye would bat in the whole place.
It's not just me though..... Sophie was a normalish goat before she came here and now she walks sideways and spits like an over the hill baseball player chewing on tobaccy. Blanche ( who used to be a cat) has become obsessed with The Velveteen Rabbit ever since I read it to them for a bedtime story and won't stop hopping around and eating Rose's carrots.
Image: Sophie DiMaggio
Weirdestly of all, Pinky Darling who lives down the road has a new posse of seagulls that follow her everywhere she goes.
Pinky Darling was invited for dinner. At about the time when she was supposed to be arriving I heard a huge kerfuffle and cackling sound. I looked out the window and saw at least 100 gulls flying overheard, oddviously keen on something. After further investigation I see Pinky herself, strolling down the road (top speed) waving at the gulls ..... was she cheering them on or shooing them away? Is Pinky a seagull whisperer? Will they make a romantic film about her life starring Meryl Peep and Russell Crow?
SO..... Pinky walks in the door, her own feathers ruffled.
The Saran wrapped bowl she is carrying is slightly covered in poop. Gull poop.
Pinky herself has been spared ( they seem to respect their leader).
Do you know what was in the bowl?
And so I repeat, as I sip my diet root beer, run my fingers through my candy floss hair and watch Sophie practicing her batting stance......
This place is weird.
Image: Blanche, The Velveteen Rabbit-Cat

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