Friday, February 1, 2013

What's Up Doc?

The busiest two weeks since time began just ended. Trying to fulfill orders and create our new catalogue has taken the Mickey Mouse out of us both! Rose and Sophie refused to help saying it wouldn't behoove them to assist us as they had a lot of goat business to attend to. Goats. Moreover, SHE has been extra crankified due to the super healthy eating plan that I started us on a month ago.

Sophie is a monkey in her new winter hat. 

HER: I can hear my stomach growling. It is getting ready to vacate the premises, walk itself to the refrigerator and make itself a sandwich.
Me: We have no bread, butter or sandwich fixings. Would you like a carrot?
HER: YES. YES, I will have yet another GD$!#*&! carrot.

I hand her a lovely, giant, carrot. It has, in fact, been washed.

HER: REALLY? You give the goats carrots every day. You wash the carrots, peel the carrots and then cut the carrots into pieces. Not just regular pieces but sticks. THEN YOU PUT THEM IN WARM WATER SO THE GOATS WON'T HAVE TO EAT COLD CARROTS. AND THEN YOU DRY THE CARROTS OFF BECAUSE GOATS DON'T LIKE WET CARROTS.
And you hand ME a fusty, hairy carrot with its hat still on?

Me: Do you know how many children choke every year on hot dogs because the tube shape gets stuck in their throats? Tube shaped foods have to be cut lengthwise. Carrots apply.
HER: But they are NOT children, they are goats. GOATS!

Me: Yes, AND they also don't have any top teeth. When YOU no longer have top teeth, I will cut up your carrots. Until then, if you need your carrots in sticks you can use your arms and cut them up yourself!
Just eat your carrot and have a big glass of water and soon it will be dinner.

HER: Oh great. What are we having? Turnip peels and prune pits? All of Rose and Sophie's scraps?
ME: No. Would you like a treat? I could make you a few big hot dogs. And don't worry, I won't cut them up.

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